No one doubts that Prince William and Kate Middleton have strong views about what their wedding should be like. Unfortunately, those closest to them don’t always agree with them.
The latest battleground is that Camilla is said to be desperate to persuade the bride to wear a tiara — even asking friends to intervene on her behalf — because Kate is said to be considering wearing flowers in her hair.
This little difference of opinion between two possible future Queens — the soon-to- be Princess and her stepmother-in-law to be — neatly encapsulates everything that separates Kate and Camilla, and perhaps even William and Charles, in class, age, taste and aspiration.
While Charles and Camilla have no wish to be seen as extravagant or out of touch, they believe there is a level of formality and grandeur beneath which a royal wedding must not sink. In their 60s, their tendencies are traditional and patrician.
However, William and Kate are decades younger and have been guests at a plethora of weddings in their peer group, so are keen by natural instinct and public relations savvy not to be old-fashioned or stuffy.
To a certain extent, they want to have a royal wedding, be like their friends and be ‘of the people’ — something that Camilla would regard as trying to have their royal wedding cake and eating it.
Hence, the white Whistles blouse (re-released by the opportunistic High Street chain at £30 more than the £95 she paid for it, under the name ‘Kate’) she wore for the official engagement picture.
They have chosen Westminster Abbey — rather than St Paul’s — which seats at least 1,500 fewer people and is almost cosy by royal standards.
Then there is William’s chocolate biscuit cake, made by the decidedly unroyal McVitie’s, alongside Kate’s floral confection by Fiona Cairns, who ‘makes cakes for supermarkets’, as a rival pointed out. (In her defence, it is Waitrose.)
But then, in almost every aspect of this wedding, a statement is being made. For example, Prince Harry — at his own insistence — will be called the best man, not the Royal Family’s traditional obscure moniker of ‘Supporter’.
The Buckingham Palace lunch — unbelievably, according to the old guard — is a very middle-class buffet.
There will be canapes ‘that can be eaten in two bites’, according to the caterer, keen to dispel the notion that the King of Bahrain, William’s pal Guy Pelly and Victoria Beckham will be searching for somewhere to perch their champagne glass while they fork up their rice salad.
Charles is hosting the evening dinner for 300, which is expected to be a more lavish sit-down affair.
Meanwhile, Carole and Pippa Middleton’s visit to Alice Temperley the other day — very much a barefoot-in-the-grass, bohemian dress designer brought up on a cider farm in Somerset — is another marker that they are in the anti-tiara camp.
It is presumed Temperley may design some of the dresses for the big day.
Then there is the guest list — several of Prince Charles’s Sloanier country shooting friends are said to be put out that they have been sidelined in favour of worthier sorts who toil away for charities connected with the Prince’s Trust and William and Harry’s good causes.
Indeed, where Charles and Diana had a wedding list that ran from china what-nots to furniture, William and Kate have a list of 26 good causes.
These concentrate on African animals and the welfare of children (including the campaigning charity Beatbullying) and so make the old Generation Game conveyor belt version of the wedding list look dated and a bit greedy.
This tension between the generations has been reflected in the question about who should organise the wedding. Previous royal weddings have been arranged by the Queen’s staff.
Charles was keen to give this duty to his old valet Michael Fawcett — who is sometimes referred to unkindly as ‘Fawcett the fence’ due to the money he made flogging unwanted royal gifts.
The fence had form, having arranged Charles’s and Camilla’s wedding in 2005.
But William and Kate understandably chose those close to them: Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, the former SAS officer who is William and Harry’s private secretary; Helen Asprey, an impeccably dressed scion of the jewellery family, who is their personal private secretary (she gives Kate style advice for royal visits); and affable press secretary Miguel Head.
However, unlike Diana, who used the Glass Coach, Kate is arriving at the Abbey by car.
This week, it also emerged that William and Kate have decided that in this more egalitarian age, guests should be shuffled round town on the day in mini-buses.
Again, note that Charles and Camilla have chosen not to join them, preferring to take his chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce instead.
An aide said firmly that there is ‘no way’ that Charles would arrive at the Abbey in a bus, though Princes Andrew and Edward and Princess Anne will all be on board, as will various foreign dignitaries, including the Queen of Denmark.
As for the tiara vs flowers debate, the experts say all the blooms on the day are likely to be British garden flowers, including roses, like the ones Fiona Cairns will craft in icing on her wedding cake.
It’s likely, then, that they would feature if Kate was to go against Camilla’s wishes and wear flowers in her hair.
Though Kate is not averse to headgear — after all, she single-handedly triggered a renaissance in the feathered headpieces called fascinators — she knows her long, glossy hair competes with her legs as being her stand-out feature.
Incidentally, six hairdressers, including upmarket celebrity crimper Richard Ward — at whose London salon Kate has her hair cut — have been drafted in for emergency service on the day.
There is the danger, of course, that a tiara can look ageing. They also flatten the hair.
And yet tiara enthusiasts (will Helen Asprey, given her family connections, be among them?) would be furious if Kate passes up the unique opportunity to choose from the finest and most historic royal jewellery collection in the world.
On her day, the new Princess of Wales wore the Spencer family tiara, which had a diamond and gold scroll design. The Queen had given Diana the pearl and diamond Cambridge Lover’s Knot, but this was rejected as too heavy.
It was made from gems received as wedding presents by Queen Mary, wife of George V, and was modelled on a tiara owned by her mother, the Duchess of Cambridge. It has been in a safe at Buckingham Palace since Diana died.
If Kate chooses to borrow the Spencer tiara, it will excite the ‘It’s all a bit spooky’ crowd, who are already alarmed by the shared engagement ring and the idea that the young couple might live in Diana’s old home at Kensington Palace.
Not having a family ‘fender’, Kate could also borrow any number of royal pieces.
The Queen’s favourite is The Girls Of Great Britain And Ireland, so-named because it was a wedding present for Queen Mary funded by young women. There is also the smaller Duchess of Teck, a present to Queen Mary from her mother, who also had this title.
Ladbrokes jointly favours, at 3-1, the Cambridge Lover’s Knot or a modern one designed by Kate’s favourite jewellery designer, Vinnie Day.
Sophie Rhys Jones wore a royal diamond tiara for her wedding, as did Fergie, though hers was only revealed as she came out of the Abbey, having worn flowers over it on the way in. It’s unlikely Kate will imitate her.
As for Camilla, she wore two creations by celebrated milliner Philip Treacy rather than a tiara when she married Charles. But it was a second wedding, and since then she has borrowed magnificent tiaras, such as the Durbar tiara, which was made for Queen Mary for a visit to Delhi in 1911.
The U.S., home of Miss Universe and Barbie, will be disappointed if Miss Middleton doesn’t wear a tiara. People magazine has got its readers to vote on which one Kate should wear: The Girls Of Great Britain And Ireland is in pole position.
So there we are: flowers and minibuses vs diamonds and chauffeurs. You might say William and Kate want to keep it real, while Charles and Camilla want to keep it royal.
At heart, Charles and Camilla have upper-class leanings and William and Kate, to a certain extent, share middle-class tastes.
Clarence House aides say that Kate doesn’t want anyone to know who’s making the dress because having dated William for so long it’s the only surprise she’s got left for him, never mind the rest of us.
Now, it turns out there’s something else for us to speculate about — what will come out on top, the tiara or the flowers?
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